I never used to have these thoughts- I gave people the benefit of doubt. I even like people most of time. Of course that always led to me getting stepped on or pushed over, but there's those people who you think will never to that to you, you know? That's what I get for thinking too much. Loving too much too. I should have expected it though. Best friends to lovers and back to best friends? Things are bound to derail sometime. Especially when I get tired of playing the nice rational girl. "It's all for the best" never made anyone feel better. So lately I've been angry. Not my usual angry-because I have a light, shortlived kind of way about me. It's a sheild almost. But I've been all out bruised, your ass is grass, angry.

Who's taken over me?

I'm talking to a friend of mine now. An old friend. I don't get people who want to constantly be in relationships. Maybe it's just me though. I've been through some nasty things, so I tend to avoid them like the plague. I'm very anti-toucy till you get past my defenses, but this girl... I don't get her. She's so willing to be taken in by the next person that shows an interest to her. She just wants to be loved... and that I can understand, but what about finding and loving yourself? I feel the anger bubbling up when I talk to her too, and that in itself makes me more angry.

What a nutcase am I.

Ugh, I hate the real world. Damned with it all.